Warning. This is a venting blog post.
There are probably 5 attractive men at my law school. And I bet 2 of those guys are actually only “law” cute. So, that’s what I’m dealing with. My friend K and I have discussed going to the city during lunch time to stake out some actual men. It is possibly going to happen.
Along with not having very many beautiful men in attendance, law school also tends to attract women (and men, I’m sure) who have the maturity level of 13 year olds who just realized that kissing boys is actually fun, and that they do not, in fact, have cooties.
This girl at my school, she was (maybe is) one of my friends, is one of those people. I swear this chick, we’re going to call her GG, has NEVER dated a guy in real life. So, she certainly doesn’t know how to deal with them (I mean, I’ve dated and dealt with my fair share of men and I still don’t get what the fuck they’re thinking 75% of the time). This story starts by saying that she slept with one of our fellow classmates about 3 weeks ago, we’re going to call him K. Once. They slept together one. time. while they were both wasted. Now, we’ve all read my one night stand post, I’ve never had one of those, tried, but failed. But this was the definition of what a one night stand is.
Now, I am admittedly not an expert in one night stands, but what I do know about men is that if they WANT you, they will try to get you. They will text you and want to see you. And if you already gave it up to them? They’re going to sleep with you again. That’s just how it is. There’s a movie about it. He’s just not that into you.
Now, weeks later this girl is IN LOVE with K. Since then, for various other reasons, K and I have been in the same social setting a few times. Therefore? K and I have become “friends” you know, facebook official and everything. Awesome. On Thursday night he and I spoke for maybe 5 minutes (our convo was about GG, but that’s besides the point). We were not flirting, we were having a platonic conversation. This crazy bitch, starts asking all of our friends if she thinks I want to sleep with K. I swear. Why yes, I want to sleep with everyone at our law school one time and be just like you. No bitch. I don’t. She then proceeds to text me about it until almost 4 am. I must look like the kind of girl who would just go home with some dude I don’t even know to fuck him. Yeah. That’s me. I don’t even spend the night with guys I actually like, you won’t find me stranded at some drunk guy’s house on a Thursday night.
She then CALLS ME the next day to continue to talk about this ridiculous drama she created. I just can’t even. After letting her get about a sentence out, I spent the next 10 minutes telling her the following list of things:
1. You cannot sleep with a guy one time and call dibs on him. Life doesn’t work like that.
2. Contrary to what she obviously believes we are NOT 12 at our first late night skating rink party. We are 24 years old in a BAR, I will have a conversation with whom I please. And I absolutely will not apologize about it. Especially to some chick who is trying so hard to play it cool that she won’t even speak to this dude. Awkward much?
3. Bitch, I am not some slut that goes home with guys at the bar. And the fact that you think that about me says something about you.
There were some other choice words that I used. Psycho, insane and delusional are just a few. The conversation ended with her asking if this was going to be a “thing”. Well obviously. All I said before I hung up the phone was that she better hope not because I am not a good enemy to have.